INCIDENT REPORT #6

Park Rapids is still freezing and snowy, and the winter Incident Reports, as usual, deliver.

From the March 12 issue of the Enterprise:

A Park Rapids caller reported his wife is intoxicated; A possibly intoxicated male was reported yelling on Main, picked up by a car, a 911 call then reporting an assault in his yard; A female was reported walking in circles in downtown Park Rapids; A Lake Alice caller reported non-payment for timber by a logging company; A Farden Township caller reported locking her child in the car, would like an officer to get the keys from her home; Suspicious activity was reported in Nevis Township; A drunk male was walking down the middle of a Todd Township road; A Park Rapids caller reported her boyfriend hitting her; A disturbance was reported in the alley by a Park Rapids bar, someone lying on the ground.

From March 15:

A Farden township caller reported hearing a loud noise, opening his front door to find smoke and a blackened door; A Mantrap Township caller asked to speak to an officer about suspicious e-mail and a possible scam; Snowmobiles were reported tearing up hay fields in Akeley Township; Snowmobilers were reported "driving erratically" in Nevis; Graffiti on bathroom walls was reported in Park Rapids; Littering was reported in Park Rapids; An "intoxicated sounding" woman reported having trouble with her son, then stating she was sorry and would call back if it didn't quit; A Park Rapids caller asked to speak to an officer regarding a puppy that's been "sitting in an empty lot for some time now"; An injured skunk was reported in Park Rapids; A dog was reported to be repeatedly coming in the drug store; A Park Rapids caller reported his sister taking his PlayStation 3 and pawning it.

Also, a mock school-shooting drill took place in the high school, complete with fake-blood and volunteer "victims."

A "school shooter" was apprehended after killing one student and injuring three others in a mock disaster at Park Rapids Area High School Friday.

Unfortunately, a local pastor, unaware of the planned exercise, showed up at the school quite shaken by the prospect that a real incident had occurred.

Otherwise, participants agreed at a debriefing, the training went well.

Finally, St. Urho's Day was March 16. This is the supposed Finnish version of St. Patrick's Day, when St. Urho drove all the grasshoppers out of Finland. Though real Finns apparently scoff at it, North American Finns love it, donning purple and holding daylong celebrations. In Hood River, OR, the ritual Changing of the Guard involves a public changing of the underwear; in Menahga, MN, the Finnish enclave just south of Park Rapids, they have a golf tournament on the frozen lake, and here you can see the St. Urho's Day barstool races, wherein hardy revelers attach barstools to skis and, shrieking gleefully, race to the bottom of a gentle slope.