Friday, July 27, 2007


Amanda and I hit the IKEA Grand Opening on our way out to a dog romp--we didn't bother waiting in line, etc., just barged in on the opening ceremony. You missed: TV crews, Swedish national anthem, old man in knickers creakily cranking up Swedish and American flags, ladies in Swedish national costume handing out canary-yellow swag, Tom Potter droning, finally ABBA blasting "Dancing Queen" as the manic hordes burst forth and flooded (shuffled) through the doors, waving their inflatable IKEA thunder-sticks.

Picture the throngs below streaming out of the left side of the frame and all the way around the back of the building, where hundreds more patient consumers waited in the paved and barren shadows, far out of earshot and sight of the "entertainment."

The front-of-line people started camping out on Monday for the Wednesday morning opening. For this, they were rewarded with I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST 100 AT PORTLAND IKEA T-shirts. (Which you can see tied around/tucked into? the waist of the middle lady.)

Amanda and I targeted the Swedish dames like fighter pilots, swooping in on as much tacky swag as possible in fifteen minutes. (The dogs were waiting in the car.)

I am unexpectedly excited to now own a "cellphone chair," a yellow nerfy thing upon which my battered mobile is currently resting.

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